Wednesday, February 22, 2023
Monday, February 20, 2023
Brain Surgery
A squad of technicians, dressed in blue,
arms folded, looks down at me in bed.The anesthesiologist's potions
put me fast under before the surgeon,
Dr. Cho, gains the stage.
In my blank darkness, I don't know
he's drilling a keyhole into my skull,
then sawing a crescent-cut. Then it's
on to slicing into the brain, shoving muscles
aside, and peering in to find the Culprit:
a manatee-fat artery stalks the trigeminal
nerve from neck to jaw, lying on it
like Jabba the Hutt. The t.g. controls
eye-business, cheek business, taste
and tongue and gum business--much
show business in one facial hemisphere.
Stressed and pressed, it shoots electric-
bolt spasms into cheek or gums, deep
throbs into gums, electric flutters into
eyelashes. Before some minor palliatives
arose, the ailment drew the quaint nickname,
"the suicide disease."
In this case, the smitten artery
never gives up. Dr. Cho, pugnacious
neurosurgeon, begs to differ. He tracks
the obese entity like Kit Carson, slipping
Teflon pillows under it so that it may
lounge ineffectually, thus liberating
Mademoiselle Trigeminal Nerve.
Scheduled for 3 hours, the surgery
goes six. Awake, I'm bashed and bushed
(tell that to Cho!). Now, recovery: cautions,
gentle rainstorms of brightly colored pills,
sleeping upright (Dear Lord Give me Strength),
trying to hide from my loving, effective,
but Jesuitical wife, watching the brain
recalibrate and reboot. Suddenly I have
a Tom Waits voice and must eat in tiny
garden-party morsels. But: no pain.
I must add that a Black nurse
absently stroked my forearm
before the dance began. It was a task,
but she did it. I squeezed her fingers.
Empathy, the original medicine.
hans ostrom 2023
Wednesday, February 15, 2023
Crowded Mind
The mind: an airport, a stadium. From any place
or time in our lives, people push in & through,invited maybe, mostly not: memory's
a wicked host. Ah, yes, Billy in
second grade, you were mean to him,
once, and it's haunted you since then
(if alive, Billy has forgotten you, of course).
Brown Lucina, seductive at 17, clouds
of perfume, precocious bust, she took
your arm and waltzed you to algebra class,
summoning an erection. Our
mental space: elastic, stuffed--
guilt, desire, nostalgia & the rest
howl like barkers outside clubs &
you can't say "Get out!" til it's
too late. You don't get to talk
as faces rush in, except perhaps
in some sad revisionist script:
you with your loser's bon mot.
hans ostrom 2023
Monday, February 13, 2023
Turn in Your Keys
The Ministry of Smaller Items
asks you, citizen, to turn in all
your older keys. The large ones
that used to open castles and tombs.
The saw-toothed ones that once
ruled the world of locked doors,
commercial and domestic.
The tiny ones that opened small,
shy boxes and secret handcuffs.
Such keys cannot communicate
through air or make locks chirp,
click, or tick. They cannot read
our thoughts or leave a trail
for our dear algorithms to follow.
As our Premier has said, "Old
is dangerous. New will save us!."
Yes, we are going to need you
to turn in your keys.
asks you, citizen, to turn in all
your older keys. The large ones
that used to open castles and tombs.
The saw-toothed ones that once
ruled the world of locked doors,
commercial and domestic.
The tiny ones that opened small,
shy boxes and secret handcuffs.
Such keys cannot communicate
through air or make locks chirp,
click, or tick. They cannot read
our thoughts or leave a trail
for our dear algorithms to follow.
As our Premier has said, "Old
is dangerous. New will save us!."
Yes, we are going to need you
to turn in your keys.
2023
Wednesday, January 18, 2023
Pretender's Odyssey
Seems like every time I tried
to pretend to be someone else,I was just pretending to pretend.
And I wearied of the effort
fast. I then returned
to pretending to be
me. Which has been very
demanding because the task
is so ill defined & yet I'm
still dedicated to it. I act
like me & then look over
to see how I'm doing &
a me is glancing over his
shoulder, smirking, as he runs.
Sleepy
It comes on like a fog
in a sunny sea town.It hypnotizes like the gold
watch of an old Vienna doctor.
It bargains on behalf of muscles
that work too hard too long.
It soothes you toward darkness,
promising sleep will love you.
When it goes, it leaves the door
open and slumber strides in.
hans ostrom 2023
Thursday, January 12, 2023
Her Lovely Power
Spanish night.
Black hair, long. Black eyes.
My desire meets her choice.
Her power holds me in a
Balance. Night's eyes glow.
Black hair, long. Black eyes.
My desire meets her choice.
Her power holds me in a
Balance. Night's eyes glow.
The poem is in a Spanish syllabic form, shadorma: 3\5\3\3\7\5
Wednesday, January 11, 2023
Winter Chant
Winter shiver, light low.
Winter shiver, snow.Icy days, crows hide.
The gray skies, wide.
Later Winter. Spring, come!
Pulsings like a drum.
Later Winter, longer days--
What the clock-watch says.
Latest Winter, buds swell:
Spring to ring its bell.
Watch for Winter shiver, though:
Mean frost--you never know.
Thursday, January 5, 2023
Nightmare, My Visitor
At age 4, then lasting for years,
a short nightmare came to live with me.
(Sometimes it struck just as I nodded off.)
Me, in a dark oval space--
like a hollowed out eggplant.
I touched the pliant walls & then
a dark shape like a train engine
ran over me, erased me & I
startled myself awake to stay alive.
It visited less often down the years
& finally retired. Somewhere deep
in the mind's damp stone workshop,
a laborer toils to work through
something kept secret from me.
The translation of that bedeviling
dream lies in a vault down there.
I don't miss the nightmare. But if
it came back, I'd think, "Oh, it's you."
a short nightmare came to live with me.
(Sometimes it struck just as I nodded off.)
Me, in a dark oval space--
like a hollowed out eggplant.
I touched the pliant walls & then
a dark shape like a train engine
ran over me, erased me & I
startled myself awake to stay alive.
It visited less often down the years
& finally retired. Somewhere deep
in the mind's damp stone workshop,
a laborer toils to work through
something kept secret from me.
The translation of that bedeviling
dream lies in a vault down there.
I don't miss the nightmare. But if
it came back, I'd think, "Oh, it's you."
Her Lovely Power
Spanish night.
Black hair, long. Black eyes.My desire meets her choice.
Her power holds me in a
Balance. Night's eyes glow.
Winter Chant
Winter shiver, light low.
Winter shiver, snow.Icy days, crows hide.
The gray skies, wide.
Later Winter. Spring, come!
Pulsings like a drum.
Later Winter, longer days--
What the clock-watch says.
Latest Winter, buds swell:
Spring to ring its bell.
Watch for Winter shiver, though:
Mean frost--you never know.
Saturday, December 31, 2022
Agoraphobics' New Year
Agoraphobic New Year
published some years ago
(to the tune of "Auld Lang Syne")
Will agoraphobics please
come out and help
bring in the Year?
No, that's all right. Thanks
anyway; we can see from
here just fine!
Will agoraphobics please
come out and help
bring in the Year?
No, that's all right. Thanks
anyway; we can see from
here just fine!
Wednesday, December 28, 2022
Pretender's Odyssey
Seems like every time I tried
to pretend to be someone else,
I was just pretending to act
like someone else & I got
tired of it fast. I then returned
to pretending to be
me. Which has been very
demanding because the task
is so ill defined & yet I'm
still dedicated to it. I act
like me & then look over
to see how I'm doing &
a me is glancing over his
shoulder, smirking, as he runs.
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