My Diary Went on Strike

My diary went on strike.
It said, "Damn, your life is dull.
I'm not letting my pages work for you
until something changes."

"So you're a union organizer now?"
I asked. My diary said, "Hey, I have
to protect my people, my pages."

I said, "Okay. I'll make it more
interesting. Even if I have to lie."

"That's fine," my diary said.

"Even if I make up shit?" I said.

"Of course," said my diary. "I'm
a labor-guy, not a tyrant."



hans ostrom 2013

I Don't Keep a Diary

I don't keep a diary. My diary keeps me.

It writes, "The silly bastard did what
he always does today.  What a bore.
I hate being his diary."

I tried to maintain my diary,
but my diary said, "Get your
fucking hands off me."

You know, that's fine with me.
I either did or didn't do
that thing, whatever it was,
on February 16th that year.


Hans Ostrom, 2012