Machine Eden

       "All watched over by machines of loving grace."
                                    --Richard Brautigan


Having established a friendship
with a machine connected to machines,
he felt better about himself.

What had analogous reality
ever done for him aside from
the conception-and-birth thing?

Nothing but problems after that.
Maybe before he dies--thanks,
reality--he'll be able, he thinks,

to live in a world completely
virtual, a self contained in
machined containment. Heaven.


hans ostrom 2020

Terms and Conditions

"not because blue pill"

      --fragment from the old online deluge


Not because blue pill
have I seen shards of epic
gibberish & websites blocked
error 404 forbidden you do not
have access, note that you

is neither formal nor familiar
in algorithmese. Search,
surf, just-type-in, click
to download, take a trip
on a keyboarding ship,
reach your destination in
the slink, on the sly.

Ultimately every download
loaded down must become
a disappointment & you feel
as if you're clerking on a volunteer
basis for authoritarian bots. All

manner of things shall be well
when you use two-step verifcation
and, well, have your credit
card info including security
ready. You must fill in required
fields, approve terms and conditions.


hans ostrom 2018

What They Took Out and Kept In

They took the tele out of phone
and the roll out of rock, replacing
it with alt, which they also added
to Control + Delete so a PC or
a Mac could get back on its feet.

They done took the paper out
of news and ripped the promise
out of compromise. Yep, they kept
race in political races because
of their bad White habits.

They kept the greed in agreed.
I wish they'd take the they
out of they and replace it
with we, but I just don't see
that happening real soon.


hans ostrom 2016

"I Was Sent a Link"

She texted me. I was texted.
Text Ed. Textual Education.
The text said she
was going to send me
a link.

Three days later, a single
sausage showed up in the mail.
I didn't eat it, although
it smelled okay for having
been on the road for three days.

I realized for the first time
that a sausage
could be mistaken
for a cat turd.
Some epiphanies are unpleasant.


It was a little meat-log,
an analog link, I think.

I sent her a thank-you-note.
Actually it was a "thank-you-
I-think-for-the-link" note.


hans ostrom 2015

Computer As Penis, Penis As Computer

You have unused icons on your penis.
Your penis is at risk: no firewall is turned on.
Your penis will restart in 30 seconds.


Would you like a full or partial scan
of your penis?

Your penis needs updating.
Would you like to upgrade to Penis 3.0?

The program, penis.dic has
encountered an error.

Please restart your penis.

Download the latest version of penis.dic.

Scan your penis for malware?

Scan has detected 8 problems with your penis.

Report as penis-spam?

You are forbidden from accessing this penis-page.

New penis.dic software is available.

Your penis hard-drive has crashed.

Report error to penis.dic?

Please tell penis.dic about this problem.

Would you like to change your penis password?

Log off penis?



hans ostrom 2013