The first time I heard my father pronounce,
"When we die, we're meat for the worms,"
I was about ten. He repeated the wisdom
occasionally. He thought "preachers"
were hustlers. Ma ran away from her
evangelical minister father when she
was 18. He was a bigot and a creep.
She never worshipped publicly again,
thought of Heaven, I think,
as an earned vacation. She gave me
her leather-bound Bible, Oxford U.
Press, all of Jesus's words in red.
I joined the Catholic Church
at age 45, but my "worship" consists
of giving food to the parish's
food bank and trying to be kind. My
wife's the real Catholic and prays for me,
in both senses of "for." As to God,
who knows? Believing isn't knowing.
Nor is atheism. I'm too busy fearing
humans--of every belief, including
atheism, to fear God. It never surprises
me to see that another American
Christian has turned out to be evil.
Sometimes evil and popular.
After my college
History of Philosophy class, taken
at age 17, I never stopped thinking
Spinoza had it right: God equals
everything there is, but probably
no more. A cold view, true.
Of course, the Jews expelled him,
the Christians condemned him,
and Leibniz envied him.
Spinoza made a living grinding lenses.
It's a true fact, as we say
in the American West,
that the body disintegrates.
Aging gives it a head start.
The universe is too big,
dynamic, and complicated
for us to understand
all the way, but I say to science:
keep trying.
We should concentrate on peace,
equity, and care of Earth. Make these
our primary worship. Keep it
simple-like, you know?
hans ostrom 2022
