I opened up my bank-statement (I
like it still on paper). It stated:
"This amount is some pitiful shit."
It went on to say, "Man, you got
to get a lot more, and you got
to keep what you get."
The statement ended with this:
"Meanwhile, we'll lend to others
this pitiful amount, make a
percentage, and charge you
fees. See how it's done?
Love, the Bank."
Copyright 2012 Hans Ostrom
Friday, April 13, 2012
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Titles of Poems I've Never Tried to Write
(but be my guest)
The Tahiti Concerto
Guitar Strings and Hunger
Coleman Hawkins and Edgar Allan Poe
Asphalt Catfish
American History Bombing
A Swedish Interrogative
I Can't Know What It's Like
Right On, Off, On, Off
Give Chance a Peace
Gambling With Frogs
The Home Shopping Network Visits Plato's Republic
What Should I Do?
Clues to Your Beauty
The Ruling Class Doesn't Like to Lose
Go Deconstruct Yourself
Christians and Guns
Always Afraid
The Rabbi Writes Poetry
May I Live Forever in One Summer, Please?
The Tahiti Concerto
Guitar Strings and Hunger
Coleman Hawkins and Edgar Allan Poe
Asphalt Catfish
American History Bombing
A Swedish Interrogative
I Can't Know What It's Like
Right On, Off, On, Off
Give Chance a Peace
Gambling With Frogs
The Home Shopping Network Visits Plato's Republic
What Should I Do?
Clues to Your Beauty
The Ruling Class Doesn't Like to Lose
Go Deconstruct Yourself
Christians and Guns
Always Afraid
The Rabbi Writes Poetry
May I Live Forever in One Summer, Please?
Monday, April 9, 2012
Sled Dog
Yeah, I'm lying down.
Feed me or don't. In a pinch,
I can eat you. What I know is,
white man in another creature's
fur, if the sled's going to be pulled
across this idiotic white expanse,
you're going to have to pull it
yourself. I'm done. We're done.
You never thought dogs would
go on strike. To us, freezing or
starving to death look like a
vacation. What do they look like
to you, Boss, as you shiver
and yell and try to get a
signal for your phone?
Hans Ostrom
copyright 2012
Feed me or don't. In a pinch,
I can eat you. What I know is,
white man in another creature's
fur, if the sled's going to be pulled
across this idiotic white expanse,
you're going to have to pull it
yourself. I'm done. We're done.
You never thought dogs would
go on strike. To us, freezing or
starving to death look like a
vacation. What do they look like
to you, Boss, as you shiver
and yell and try to get a
signal for your phone?
Hans Ostrom
copyright 2012
Friday, April 6, 2012
Mister Lincoln Rose
A wee fist comes out
of a Mister Lincoln rose,
taps your nose.
You hear a voice, which purrs,
slurs like a kind, formidable,
boozy perfumed aunt: "This,
kiddo, is what a rose
is supposed to smell like. Not
like the nothing-blooms in
the goddamned florist's deep-freeze."
Copyright 2012 Hans Ostrom
of a Mister Lincoln rose,
taps your nose.
You hear a voice, which purrs,
slurs like a kind, formidable,
boozy perfumed aunt: "This,
kiddo, is what a rose
is supposed to smell like. Not
like the nothing-blooms in
the goddamned florist's deep-freeze."
Copyright 2012 Hans Ostrom
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Wendy Perriam: New Books Out
British novelist and short-story writer Wendy Perriam has two new books out. One is actually the paperback edition of a fine novel published in 2010: BROKEN PLACES, which concerns--in part--libraries. A witty, deft writer, Perriam has been compared to Martin Amis.
The other book, "I'm On the Train!", is a new collection of stories.
Here's a link to amazon, where you may also take a look at Wendy's other novels and collections:
http://www.amazon.com/Broken-Places-Wendy-Perriam/dp/0709090986/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1333548606&sr=1-3
The other book, "I'm On the Train!", is a new collection of stories.
Here's a link to amazon, where you may also take a look at Wendy's other novels and collections:
http://www.amazon.com/Broken-Places-Wendy-Perriam/dp/0709090986/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1333548606&sr=1-3
Monday, April 2, 2012
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Crime Novel Set in the Sierra
My first published novel was also my first published crime, or detective, novel. It is set in a small county in the Sierra Nevada of California. It's called THREE TO GET READY. Here's how little I knew about the inner workings of the mystery/crime/detective genre back then: When I got a copy of a favorable review of the book, I noticed that the reviewer called it a "procedural," which refers to a crime novel in which the detective/protagonist is a professional. As my protagonist is a sheriff, my novel is a "procedural." I said to my wife, "Honey, I wrote a 'procedural'!"
Anyway, the novel is now available at what I imagine to be a reasonable price--$3.95--on Kindle:
http://www.amazon.com/Three-To-Get-Ready-ebook/dp/B007QMHUSA/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1333329396&sr=1-1-catcorr
Anyway, the novel is now available at what I imagine to be a reasonable price--$3.95--on Kindle:
http://www.amazon.com/Three-To-Get-Ready-ebook/dp/B007QMHUSA/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1333329396&sr=1-1-catcorr
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
Red: A Book: 82. Lois And The Greatness of American Poetry
Red: A Book: 82. Lois And The Greatness of American Poetry: Lois read where some noted assessor of poetry had opined that American poetry was in danger of losing its "greatness.' She was relieved to ...
Red: A Book: 188. Meatloaf Writers Conference
Red: A Book: 188. Meatloaf Writers Conference: At the Meatloaf Writers Conference, famous authors call each other by nicknames and speak in complacent ironies. A homeless man sneaks int...
Red: A Book: 139. She Was Just Out of the Bath
Red: A Book: 139. She Was Just Out of the Bath: Not long out of the bath, she wore a robe. She sat back in their favorite chair, expansive and plush, and he sat on the floor, painting her ...
Red: A Book: 136. Hiram Muses Priapically
Red: A Book: 136. Hiram Muses Priapically: Hiram found himself moved to muse on his phallus. He, too, thought the subject tedious, and yet there he was, musing on it. Hiram's cock h...
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