Saturday, January 16, 2021

Watching Bach Played

 [second version]


Each string ensemble player

leaned, turned, and swayed

in chairs differently as

they played. The women's

backs looked strong in gowns.

The men's feet in black shoes

stayed fixed to the floor.


Sometimes violin-bows poked

straight up as if reach for unseen

clouds just above the players'

heads. Portly cellos had to be

held up like friendly drunks.

They mumbled low genial

gratitude. One man stood


above the players, waving

his arms and a stick as if

to try to get someone's

attention. The violinists

may have glanced at him,

I don't know, but mostly

they cuddled their polished

wooden instruments, and


let their bodies feel the music,

and let us feel the vibrations

that they herded in the hall. 


hans ostrom 2015/2021

Friday, January 15, 2021

Attempts Become Gestures

[second version]


the man wearing a thin sweatshirt

and no hat stands at an uncovered

bus stop in freezing rain. he isn't me.


he's trying to light a cigarette. his

attempt becomes a gesture--

ludicrous but noble, less than

tragic but not bad at all.


he's inside whatever being alive

is for him, and i'm inside what

being alive is to me. i see him

from a warm place out of the weather.


if i were like jesus i'd go to the

man and perform a miracle--

like getting that cigarette lit,

or giving him money,

or giving him my parka, or

embracing him. he might

like all of that. except for

the embrace. he might

bite my nose off for that.


i don't do any of these things,

because it's easier not to,

and it's acceptable that i

think i'm not his keeper.


at moments like these, i

think of Bukowski,

who--i gather from his

words, i never knew

the man--thought like

jesus sometimes, i mean

with a similar toughness.

tough on everybody--

including, let's say especially,

the reflective, ignoble fuckers in

warm parkas out of the

weather.


Cinema Complex

 [second version]


This complex isn't simple: boxes

within boxes within boxes. Figures

stroll across a neon-glossy floor

toward dark caves, bathrooms, or

sugar and salt: they and I

are already dead--like people


photographed by cinema in 1939.

And we've been replaced by others

who move about here just as we do,

we did. Maybe one of them


is morbid, at least fatalistic,

and feels for a moment that time

has already departed, leaving

behind only ribbons of  light

that spool images 

flickering imperceptibly


on screens

and kernels of corn explode

into tiny thunderheads. Before

going into the movie, I think

this scene I've been in

may have been the better movie.

Toes

 [second version]


They're pudgy, failed claws,

private nubs that often

go public. We encase them

like jewels, divas, or prisoners, 

let them out for fresh air


only sometimes. The curling


of toes, one knows, is 

a practice that migrated

from branched peoples

hanging around long ago.


When people say, "Kick up

your heels," they seem

to mean nothing.


Heel/toes, heel toes:

onward the masses walk hard

on hard urban surfaces.

It's the economy, stupid.


Our dogs is tired,

our gods are remote,

this is the greatest age

of toenail paint, 

and I am the owner 

of a hammer toe,

a hard name for a

soft undertow. 


hans ostrom 2015/2021


Tuesday, January 12, 2021

Aristotle on Euboea

an old man,
interested in the world.
a teacher. 
kicked out of Athens
by Alexander:
not so great. oh, well.
ignorance drags
tyrants to Hell.

a fine island.
water. light on water.
dry hills, birds in air,
students who care.
who cared enough to
follow an old man here.

good memories of quibbles
with Plato,
whom the con of idealism
hustled. like Socrates,
he looked too often
for reasons not to know. 

drink the hemlock?
highly impractical. 
death's efficient enough
as it is. better to live,
if only a year more.
living is learning,
a chance to know more
until you know death.

Chalcis is a fine town
on this island named
after a nymph. 
it smells better than Athens.

round and round goes
the dance of perception,
the music of the spheres.
heartbeats in ears. 

It's Up to Us

it's up to us,
people who in this age
are seen as "white,"
although in truth
we're all just a mix like everyone
of human genetic soup; 

it's up to us
to erode White Supremacy,
the great World Lie,
the longest American 
evil, until it 
breaks, dissolves
into dust
and final impotence. 

it's up to us, 
you know. why?
because we have the influence,
each
in our own small spheres;
because we can,
we must. 

oh, yes, I know,
most of us must serve
so many duties.
most of us are weary.
that's all right. 

don't let 
the distractions,
excuses, 
rationalizations,
confuse you til you
do nothing. 

just
do what you can
to advance the erosion.
use your influence
if you can,
when you can,
how you can.
and you can. 
it's up to us, you know. 

Friday, January 8, 2021

How Are You Enjoying the Dictatorship?

 (first posted January 27, 2017)


Oh look America
at what White Supremacy
made you do again.

Fear of change, fear
of knowledge, too. Oh,
look, White men at what

never growing up
has set loose like a
plague. Oh, look,

women, at what
White men want to to
to your body

citing some whacked-
out version of some
scripture. 

Still flying that
Confederate flag
and hanging nooses?

Still really proud
of slavery and Jim Crow? 
Nice way to show

you don't know 
right from wrong. 
Oh, look America

at what snorting
celebrity will get you. 
A bloated faux billionaire

racist on top means
you've hit bottom. Again. 
Where the dictator's 

people will stomp you,
just their way of thanking
you for your support. 



Idiosynchronized

People we see once: flood of faces, coats,

collars--on avenues and plazas,  in markets, 

theatres, bars, banks, hospitals.  A bent


shape hoeing weeds: one of us saw it once

one place from a train: This

is an example but only of itself.  Its


singularity can’t be transposed.  Imagine

you remember the person who interested you

terribly in that café that morning that city.


Sure it happened, but you don’t remember

because once was not enough.  People we

see once compose our lives.  Forgetting


them (we must), we lose wide arenas

of the lived.   Even ghosts return, but not

the vast mass of once-only-noticed


who compose medium and matrix

of our one time here.  We are adjacent and

circumstantial to strangers, one jostle


of flux away from knowing next to everything

about their lives.  The river of moments takes

a different channel; the one moment becomes nothing now.


The once-only appear, then appear to go 

to an Elsewhere that defines us.  They go on

to get to know who they get to know.


Their lives are theoretically real to us, like

subatomic particles.  To them their lives

are practically real to them.   From their


view, ours are not.  We know they were there,

vivid strangers, because they always are, 

every day.  Like a wreath floating 


 on the ocean, memory marks a space 

abandoned.   In large measure life is

recall of spaces occupied.  History


consists of someone who insists on being

remembered, someone who insists on 

remembering, combinations of both.  Familiarity 


and routine join to vie methodically; they

capture places in recall.  Vivid strangers are

incidentally crucial, indigenous to a


present moment that is like a mist

over a meadow, rising, evaporating 

just when we arrive, past as we are present.


at the mansion

my candelabras are clandestine.

they hang from whining beams

in this derelict mansion, ready

for their close-ups, Mr. DeMille.



sometime you must visit.

we’ll waltz a bit like half-

cracked aristocrats, apres

Revolution, sans portfolio.



sagging splendor. tawdry times.

we'll alert the neighbors

about a  shotgun marriage

of sweat and perfume, the



pretensions and the practicality

of self-taught lunacy, all decked

out in tuxedos and gowns bought

at  flea markets.  RSVP, or not. 


circa 1994/2021

Thursday, January 7, 2021

Tuesday, January 5, 2021

Closing Time

tonight my cabaret of fears

glowed and hummed.


a band played anxiously in

sharp keys.  the bartender


claimed not to have seen

Death around lately. but


she spoke she turned away

to polish a glass.


hans ostrom 

circa 1994/2021

Pulp Mill, Commencement Bay

  (Tacoma, Washington)


 the mill on the bay

processes night.

 

an engineered

beast, it never inhales.

 

its smoke-steam is white

and slow like dream clouds.

 

its mansion of pipes

is lit up like a festival.

 

the mill manufactures

livings and my sleep.


circa 2005/2021

hans ostrom

 

The Son She Never Had

 

The son she never had visits her

one night.  He’s grown, a man

with stories to tell and scars,


 big knuckles.  At the table under

yellow light, she asks what it was

like to be a son without a mother.


 “Oh, I had a mother,” he says.

The lines on his face are rivers

of her dreams.  “She just wasn’t you.”


 He takes her hand and leads her

past fact to worn brown carpet

of the “family” room.  They dance.


 She lays her head on his chest.

Above her is the ceiling where

her husband’s cigar-smoke settled.


 Later they sit in the two big chairs.

“Do me a favor,” she asks, “and walk out

the door.  I want to know


 your manner of leaving.”  He

obliges, a good son.  Silence rushes back

into the house like winter air.


 On the porch she tells herself

he would have had such knuckles

and danced with her that way.


 He would have traveled far but come back.

In a factory he would have paused some

days in machinery roar and thought of her.


circa 1989/2021