"A Carol for the Children," by Ogden Nash

Message From Dolores

Someone named Dolores

called for you today. 

She lives in the 1940s,

asks that you visit her there.

Seems she has details

of history to share—wool

skirts, unfiltered cigarettes,

a porter on a Pullman car

who saw too much, a neighbor

who never came back

from Tule Lake.  She wants

to play records for you—

78 RPM, thick as UFOs.

She wants you to understand

what it was like for her, what

she had, chose, and refused

to do. She understands how

busy you are.  Still she’d

like to see you.  Open

one of those boxes in storage,

find a photo of or words from

Dolores.  Walk through the

page.  Dolores will be waiting,

holding a Chesterfield just so,

ready to tell you about women

and men back then.  Don’t

worry.  She can’t come back

but you can.  You have a pass

that lets you go between now

and then.  The price of the pass

is just to think about the past.

That’s all.  That’s really all

there is to it.  Ask Dolores.

--Hans Ostrom, copyright 2012

Machines Send Me Messages

Haute-mail could not send your message
because the server was busy
at another table. You have
unused icons; are you some kind
of Protestant? Your mailbox
is full; please apologize. Send
feedback. Rate your experience.
You are not permitted. You
are not allowed. We

are always correct, are we not?
We know where you keep
your gadgets and widgets.
The secret Gee!-mail account
is also known. And monitored.
The items you want could not
be found. Try an advanced
search: we dare you. Preview

your automatically saved links,
which is another name for sausages,
by the way. Allow footbook, zitter,
and recluse.cawm to access your
accounts? Track your order.
Experience this rating. Reboot,
restart, shut-down, and get
the fuck out of town.


--Hans Ostrom, 2012

"To Friends at Home," by Robert Louis Stevenson

In Dark Vegetation

In dark vegetation I couldn’t see

my body or hear thoughts.  Fevers

rotted memory.  Maggots flourished,

established a parliament.

I hung in delirium, a sack

of neural bits and pieces.  Birds in

endless green hooted and screamed.

I was transported to a desert that

cooked off confusion, revealing

basic elements of who apparently

I’d been.  My body became obvious

once more, eating dry food and

drinking wet water. I worked

in the factory of noon—my job to attach

objects to their shadows.  Memories

returned, walking like scattered

soldiers returning across sand,

descending from red rim-rock,

shedding uniforms, looking for

lovers and work. 

Hans Ostrom, 2012

"the area of pause," by Charles Bukowski

Hosting a Holiday Party

 (there are gathering you want to have, and then gatherings you more or less must have)

So: so-so society came by my abode

to socialize, leastwise that was the alleged

point of it-all. It-all included greetings,

seatings, standing, talking, offering, listening,

thanking, pleasing.   Things deeply in our minds

stayed deeply, did not venture into air or other

minds by any means.  I socialize because I

pretend it’s pleasurable and play, not

measurable and work.  Socio-lie-zing

is a good thing, if only because solitude,

my preference, needs points of reference

and departure, and departure is what society

undertook after it looked at its watch

and said, This has been but we must be,

thanks for your hospitality, see you

later, thanks again, goodbye.  Sighing,

breathing, much relieving—guide me

to my quiet lair.

Hans Ostrom, 2012

"Venues," by Hans Ostrom

"Emily Dickinson and Elvis Presley in Heaven"

"Alas! How Easily Things Go Wrong," by George MacDonald

Bowl Season

Here's a partial re-post from 2007--concerning (football) bowl season, which doesn't make any sense even in the culture to which in belongs (American):

Bowls I would like to see played, to make "bowl season" more interesting:

1. The Despair Bowl, featuring the two worst teams in college football. Different faith-traditions could sponsor this bowl and offer hope to the teams and their long-suffering fans.

2. The Absurdity Bowl, in which, if a team "scores," points are subtracted, not added. So if a team scored a lot, the scoreboard would read "-58" or something like that. The defenses would attempt to let the offenses score; they would be hospitable, polite, and supportive. The offenses would be inoffensive, reticent, and shy.

3. The Don't Go To War Unless It's Absolutely Necessary Bowl, featuring teams from the military academies. Before the game, all in attendance would pray in their own fashion that the players would never have to see military action and especially not have to suffer wounds or get killed in combat, ever.

4. The Poetry Bowl, in which players from the two teams would choose their favorite poems and read them aloud to the crowd during the four timed quarters. There would be a half-time, during which the teams could change their strategies and consult different anthologies. Judges would determine which set of poems was more interesting and which team gave better readings. All the players would earn academic credits in English at their respective universities.

5. The Zen Bowl, featuring no teams, only spectators, who would file in and look at the empty field. Cheerleaders representing no teams would "cheer" silently.

6. The Interpretation Bowl. This would be an ordinary football game, but on television, you could select different commentators to describe and interpret the game. The menu would include political scientists, feminist scholars, anthropologists, game-theorists, mathematicians, physicists, psychologists, and so forth. Everyone at home would get the deeper meaning of their choice.

7. The Out Bowl. This would be a game between two teams composed of players from all teams across the nation--perhaps East and West. Players would be invited to come out as gay, but no player would be outed without his permission. One aim would be to assemble enough gay players to field two teams. Another aim would be to help the United States get over its homophobia and realize that about 10 per cent of any given group--including athletes--is gay. (Consider the appeal of gladiator-movies.) I predict that this Bowl will not occur soon.

8. The Soup Bowl. Innumerable corporate sponsors would support this Bowl lavishly, but all the profits would go to feeding the homeless, who would be able to attend the game for free (if they so desired), after a good meal, a hot shower, and a fresh change of clothes.

Lapses in Memory

So, I have this friend, he's 62, and his mother
is 90.  He takes her to her regular medical check-ups.
And so forth. At the last check-up, the nurse who
works for the doctor had the mother, 90, fill out
a form, answer questions.  One of the questions
was, "Have you experienced  lapses in memory lately?"

The mother read the question and turned to her son,
my friend, who is 62, and asked, "How would I know?"


Copyright 2012 Hans Ostrom

"O, Fret Not After Knowledge," by John Keats