Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Yoga Poem #6



Yoga Poem #6


All right, it's pigeon's pose again.
My hips and knees confer briefly,
then issue a joint-statement to me:
Go to Hell. I look like a dinosaur-bird
brought down by a lightning bolt.

From distant corners of the Yoga
World, assistants rush to prop me up.
I am a Yoga Emergency.

Incidentally, I've never seen
a pigeon sit this way, but this
is a mere quibble, a coo.

The flexible women in class
seem to reach this pose with ease.
So I think of them, kindly, as doves.

I like these difficult poses because
they make life's absurdity plain. Here
I am, gnarled legs on red mat,
because I think it's good for me,
and it is good for me. Wow. Now

the women, the doves, lift off!
They fly around the room above
me, they roost on the air duct,
and they coo happily! Okay,
not really, but now we're in
forward-fold, and I'm so
relieved I hallucinate mildly.

Copyright 2010 Hans Ostrom

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Yoga Poem #5

Yoga Poem #5


I'm not sure what war
they were fighting with
the warrior poses, but
I deduce the stakes
weren't very high.
Back off, enemy mine,
or I shall bend my knee
slightly further!
If only we could evolve
to such a state--in which
warriors are able only
to pose, all occupying
higher ground.


Copyright 2010 Hans Ostrom

Yoga Poem #4

Yoga Poem #4


I tried Bikram yoga--twice. "The second
visit means you're stupid," a close advisor
said. The instructor copped the attitude
of a fussy German bureaucrat, and her
male assistant acted like her pet. Hand-
lettered signs adorned the place
concerning what  and what not
to do. The room was too goddamned
hot: Ockham's Razor slices through
the Bikram. So as not to stroke out,
I finally just lay on my mat, opened
my mouth as I'd seen hot hounds do,
and rested like a tranquilized polar bear.
The instructor approached, loomed over
me with her microphone headset, said,
"You must close your mouth. Otherwise,

we'll think you're dead." I found her
concern touching. In the locker-room
afterward, three of us commiserated,
heads smoking. One guy made a business-
call on his cell-phone. The assistant appeared--
having been eavesdropping, it seemed. He
ordered, "No cell-phones in the building."

When somebody starts trying to control
your behavior beyond the mat, you have
the makings of a cult. And as they say
in Zen business school, "Don't forget
who the customer is, grasshopper."

But at the other yoga place now, I've
been encouraged to let such attachments
go before beginning the session's practice.
So I'm letting go of oven-yoga. Really.
I'm really letting go of it. After all, some
people seem to like it.


Copyright 2010 Hans Ostrom

Poe Sonnet

Poe Sonnet

He was so utterly American,
Careening through his life deliberately,
Addicted to both impulse and ambition.
He wrote for art and also for the money.
New England and the South converged in him,
Dividing up his traits chaotically:
Roderick Usher and A. Gordon Pym.
He wielded gothic excess gleefully.
In Hollywood he'd find himself today,
Overindulged, in rehab, overpaid.
Over-the-top was Edgar Allan's way.
He always led imagination on a raid.
Gargantuan and childish, you know:
The disunited state of E.A. Poe.


Copyright 2010 Hans Ostrom

"hate blows a bubble," by e.e. cummings