He wasn't opposed, in principle,
to self-loathing. Some people spoke
highly of the condition, as if it bore
a certain status. It's just that
he figured he couldn't afford
to give the people who disliked him
even one more team-member.
Liking himself seemed to be
the correct strategy in this world.
He knew he was no bargain. He
knew he said things like, "He's
no bargain, that's for sure,"
too much--old-fashioned expressions.
. . .And a hundred other flaws,
at least. Still: self-loathing?
No way. He didn't mind loving
his enemy, in theory, but helping
his enemy hate him? He just didn't
see how that penciled-out.
Copyright 2011 Hans Ostrom